When I set out for London, little did I suspect that I was not on a journey to God’s own city where harmony reigned supreme. So used to the frenzied life of Lagos was I that I had come to associate that city with everything that was chaotic, and there was no doubt in my mind that Lagos was one giant symbol of our backwardness. As the plane taxied its way out of the tarmac of our national airport, of our national airport, I heaved a sigh of relief, not so much because I was leaving my own country as that I was being relieved of the tension that had possessed me during those tense hours in the untidy lounge. I had felt so uneasy, my thoughts racing from one uncertainty to another. But at least I was air-borne, moving away from the whole uncertainty, from the whole load of fear towards a place which I supposed would be El Dorado.
Everything that happened in the plane passed through my eyes like pictures on the screen. The white air hostess who instructed me on how to use the safety belt was an angel, what with her beauty, her pretty blue dress, and her ever-smiling face. The same lady of the air served me snacks and supper. Another angel, whose queenly voice through an invisible public address system, dished out occasional information on the progress of our journey. I had never felt so relaxed, and my jolted heartbeats each time the plane took what appeared like a sudden brief descent, did not matter. When eventually we were set for landing, the anxiety that came over me was almost thrilling. What was the wonderland going to be like? So overwhelmed was I that I almost lost consciousness of what happened thereafter.
But I would never forget the shock that greeted me when we arrived in the tube station and boarded a train to behold the sea of white faces and furtive glances from apparently indifferent co-passengers. I believe that the nostalgic feeling for Lagos which later became part of my life all my days in London began at a point.
Gossip! Yes gossip is universal. In some language, it may have an outright negative connotation but in English, it basically means ‘idle talk’, chat about trivial things or matter. When moderated and kind, ‘casual talk’ may serve to exchange useful information as a means of updating one’s knowledge. The whole neighborhood may grow gossipy with who got married, pregnant, died, or it may just be a humorous chi-chat devoid of malicious intent.
However, idle talk more often than not, degenerates beyond the bounds of property and good taste. Facts get embellish, exaggerated or deliberately distorted. Humiliation is made the source of humor. Privacy is violated, confidence betrayed and reputations injured or ruined. Condemnation takes the place of commendation, murmuring and fault finding are extolled. The end result is like the mud thrown on a clean piece of white cloth. It does not stick but it leaves a dirty and sometimes permanent stain behind.
Gossip has been blamed for sleepless nights, headache and indigestion. Certainly, it must have caused you some personal anguish at one time or the other that is someone must at some times have tried getting a knife between your shoulder blades. Negative gossip is almost universally frowned upon. Among the Indians in the United States, gossiping about someone is classified with lying and stealing. Among the Yoruba of Nigeria, the tale bearer is detested and often avoided. Indeed, throughout history, measures have been taken to curb this ‘deadly’ disease. Between the 15th and 18th centuries, the ducking stool was popularly used in England and Germany and later in the United States.
The gossip was tied to a chair and repeatedly ducked in water. In modern times, the war against gossiping has also been fought. Rumor control centers have been established to even respond to rumors that were potentially harmful to government activities. Law have been passed to curb gossip. Nicknames have been given to those who peddle the trade. Ever heard of ‘Amebo’!
Such efforts notwithstanding, gossip survives. It is alive and flourishing. Gossip is everywhere. There is neighborhood gossip, office gossip, party gossip, family gossip and funnily enough, religious gossip. Gossip transcends all cultures, race and civilizations, and it has flourished and it is still flourishing at every level of the society. Gossip is deeply a part of human nature. Yet gossip is not inherently evil. There is a positive side to casual talk. Knowing where to draw harmless and harmful gossip is the key to avoiding victimizing others and being victim yourself.
