One fact that we have to complement is that, in our unconscious mind, we cannot distinguish between a wish and a deed. We are all aware of some of our illogical dreams in which two completely opposite statements can exist side by side – very acceptable in our dreams but unthinkable and illogical in our waking state. Just as our unconscious mind cannot differentiate between the wish to kill somebody in anger and the act of having done so, the young child is unable to make this distinction. The child who angrily wishes his mother to drop dead for not having gratified his needs will traumatized greatly by the actual death of his mother – even if this event is not linked closely in the time with his destructive wishes. He will always take part of or the whole of the blames for the loss of his mother. He will always say to himself - rarely to others - I did it. I am responsible. I was bad, therefore mummy left me. ‘It is well to remember that the child will react in the same manner if he loses a parent by divorce, separation or desertion.

  Death is often seen by a child as an impermanent thing and has therefore little distinction from a divorce which he may have an opportunity to see the parent again.

  Dear John,
Many thanks for your letter. I was glad to hear that you had done so well in your examinations. Let me send you my hearty congratulations. You certainly deserved this result as I know you worked very hard. You ask how I have been spending the time since I took my examinations. I have been waiting so eagerly for the result that, I must admit, I have not done half of the things I planned to do during this extended holiday. However, I have been doing a lot of reading. There were so many different things I was interested in when I was at school and did not have the time to read about because they were not on the syllabus. I have read two books about geology, which is a fascinating subject. I hope to make a hobby of geology when I get to the University. It will make a change from the study of law. i have also read several novels mostly modern ones by authors like Graham Greene, C.S Foster and Somerset Maugham. How enjoyable it is to read a book for pleasure and not for examination! I have not given a thought to law, and not read one book about the subject. I shall have e four long years at the University to devote to it.
I have also been going once or twice a week to the National Boy’s Club. I took part in the table-tennis tournament, but I did not do very well, I’m afraid. I have been playing football for the Club every Sunday afternoon. I will certainly let you know my examination results as soon as I have them. I must say that I become less confident about the result each day. It was encouraging to hear that this was the case with you, and since you did so well perhaps there is still hope for me!
Yours sincerely
Osman.