OPTOMETRY: Their girls always looking sharp, cute and neat with their all white, just gorgeously looking but by the time u set your eyes on their guys you will become discouraged; looking like the first mortuary attendants on earth.

MED LAB : Students found in this department both the girls and the boys are believed to be advanced community secondary school students searching for green pastures in the university with their white and blue uniform. Enjoying senior jokes, till I catch one

LAW STUDENTS: Students found in this department are believed to be the ones that seriously did ITK (I too know) in secondary school,always gallivanting round the school premises looking like hungry teachers that have not received their salaries for about 8 years plus.

Marketing: Only the name will give you a little Idea to where I am heading to. They are the chief noise makers found in the university.
Evolution made it known that they are the backsitters in Secondary School transferred to continue their good work in the university.

ACCOUNTANCY: Their guys are more cute than their girls. You will concur with me that some shapes have been discovered by scientist by merely looking at the legs of some girls like C. Ronaldo shape...anti curved shape etc.

Zoology:Their department is like onion..It will make you cry. If you are under this discipline please clap for yourselves. It is not easy joor.

ORTHOPEDICS AND PROSTHESIS: Yes their are fine girls in this
department but they are believed to exist only in the early 60's.
Their guys are now frustrated to the extent some are now doing change of course not minding the course even If is Industrial Igbo.

PHILOSOPHY; The call themselves the great wisdomite but yet they are being duped in school. Do me a favour please gerrarahia.

NUTRITION AND DIETETICS: Great course with great students with well fed handsome guys with Mary amaka girls. Sometimes mere looking at them u will be like ''wait o am i still in secondary school or in the university'' pharoah please let my people go'

POLITICAL SCIENCE: Students found in this discipline are very tall but mainly disabled...no wonder politicians are like that.. It is from their course gene.

MEDICINE AND SURGERY: They are quite intelligent but boastful.
Always feeling like without them nothing moves. Big heads.
Combining their heads together you will make a good okada seat.

HISTORY: Looking like History themselves always wearing one type of clothe to school all the time.

MASS COMMUNICATION: Girls found in this department are believed to be the cutest in the university. Is like they admit students according to looks because It will be hard for you to see a being that is ugly. Even their guys. looking very neat and well kept.

MICRO BIOLOGY: They are the most populated in university history with block heads and hippy students. Always making noise in class.

INDUSTRIAL CHEM/ CHEMISTRY: Joyfully Admitted but they don't
know where the are heading to in respect to the course the are studying. Ask one the meaning of Chemistry and see definition that will make you fall down and die.

MANAGEMENT: Bursty girls with manageable boys... will you blame them after all that is what the are studying.

FOOD SCIENCE TECHNOLOGY: Filled with Students that can't cook that are looking forward to cook well in future.

LIBRARY SCIENCE: Mainly students that hardly read or write so they are aided by allowing them spend the rest of their years in school learning it.

NURSING: They are the Ajebos in campus. Always gossiping in
class. The rate of their gossiping has eaten much of their flesh till the extent they are now looking like expired recharge cards.

COMPUTER SCIENCE: Filled with Good looking well educated
criminals that sort their lives out after examination

ARCHITECTURE.Good students that needs help in future...without seeing what to draw to earn money...hunger will sacrifice them to the gods

STATISTICS: Solve out my ass. Always proving what is not useful in life claiming knowledge.